What's been goin' on?!

Well,
What's been going on in the past six weeks is really what has been going on for the past year or so. Ever since I have decided to go back to school, everything has been thrown into chaos, it seems. I really get frustrated to the point of tears, sometimes. I get resentful of the extra burden I have put upon myself with taking classes, although I know that getting a degree is one of the best things I can do for myself. It seems like the whole world can be against you when you try to better yourself in any way. I have shifted my life into overdrive compared to what it once was, and compared to what many people are doing these days....and that is simply surviving.
I suppose it would be much easier to go to school right now, if I was not a new mom. I have an eight month old now, and like other babies, she demands quite a lot of my time. I feel guilty most of the time when I have to take time to complete what I can for my studies, because if feels to me like I am not being fair to her. I am sorry if this is beginning to sound like a pity party, but this is actually hurtful to me. The way I see it, she just needs her mommy right now, and she is certainly entitled to that. I feel like I fail her in that respect sometimes. So, as a consequence, I don't do as well as I feel I could in some classes. When push comes to shove, my family always win out. I'm not capable of thinking any other way. But this pulling in all directions is tough. I also work full time, have a husband and a house to keep. The house continuously loses out! My parents taught me never to give up, however. They taught me to be like a bulldog in that manner. Sometimes I can't help but feel like I am the only one who struggles this much. Sometimes I feel like I bit off much more than I can chew even though I only did for the ultimate benefit of my family. My self worth rides on if I feel that I have tried to contribute in the best way I can with the most effort I can possibly give, even if that means running on a lot less sleep than I did before. If anything, going to school has been a humbling experience after having to ask several of my instructors to be patient with me and not take me for a slacker if there are assignments being turned in late. Its not that I don't care, its just that I don't have any more hours in the day than anybody else. It is common knowledge that being a parent, employee, spouse and student is not an easy feat to pull off for anyone, but for someone who sets standards that are perhaps a little too high for themselves, it more often than not feels like the loneliest place in the world.